• I turned 30 this year.  I’m losing more hair and going gray at the same time.
• In April 2008 my wife and I lost a child (stillborn).
  • Yes, that sucks…you’re expecting a child and instead you end up planing a funeral and trying to explain things to the little ones that you already have.
  • Are we “OK”?  Yes and no.  No, if by OK you mean back to “normal”.  Normal has been redefined.  (While not always as drastic, I’d say that normal is constantly being redefined anyway.)  Yes, if by OK you mean are we pressing on.
  • Related to OK, yes, we’re coping and no, we’re not “over it” (I doubt that will ever happen as long as we have a “sound” mind).  I’d say that this is the first time that the concept of “grieving” has “clicked”…don’t get me wrong, I’ve been very sad at the loss of my loved ones in the past, but I have never felt the deep down emotions that have went along with this.  It’s another one of those life experiences that you can’t understand until you have been there yourself.
  • No, there’s not really anything that you can say to us that would really lend comfort.  BUT, just being “there” and not acting like we have some sort of disease or “elephant” is appreciated.  (Seriously, some people avoid you and others give you a look that gives you an idea of what they’re thinking but wanting to avoid.)
  • Yes, we’re willing to talk about it (to some extent anyway), but it probably won’t be something we bring up in normal conversation.  Yes, it may upset us at times, but please know that it’s not you.
  • Please don’t be alarmed when you hear us talk about it or have reminders around the house.
• We went to The Smokies in May and then surprised the kids with a trip to Disney World for close to a two week vacation.
• The kids are getting big…and very funny.
• We’ve became “members” of family things…The Indianapolis Zoo, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis and Eagle Creek Park.
• Business is doing great.  I have to thank everyone for their support over the past two years.  Some of you may have been thinking I was nuts, but at least you kept that to yourself or to where I couldn’t hear (not that I would have listened anyway since that has been my goal for as long as I can remember).

Pulling and Jekyll and Hyde, the work side of life is doing great.  Business is booming, which is truly a blessing.  But there are times that my personal life makes it difficult to concentrate.  Life (and work) goes on with or without you, that is clear.  Luckily I have excellent help and understanding clients.

So that brings me to another milestone which is exciting.  July 1st marked the second anniversary of me being technically “unemployed” (for whatever reason self-employed equals unemployed…something to do with taxes which I’ll leave to my accountant).  To say that I’m happy to be able to say that I’ve “made it” would also be an understatement…I’m ecstatic.  So that is why I’m a bit emotionally conflicted at the moment.

While cleaning out the garage the other day I ran across my list of life goals from high school and the major items on the list has been checked off…graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have children and run my own business.  The only items left are to learn to water ski and grow old.  I’m working on the later.  We’ll see about the water skiing (snow skiing was a bad idea).  So I think it’s about time to create a new list of goals for the remainder of my life.  That’ll be good to think about what the future may hold.

Anyway, what tripped it tonight was two things.   Andrew Peterson & the violent death of a former high school classmate.

Every time I see or listen to AP I quickly regain my focus on what really matters in the grand scheme of things.    God, family, friends and then everything else (including my businesses and anything else that I might have my hands in at any given moment).  That’s a good thing except for the fact that I’m always eagerly (and impatiently) looking forward to the next chapter and potentially miss out on some memorable moments of the current one.

Then the violent death of someone I once knew just compounds that by making me see my own mortality through the example of their life.  Even though this wasn’t someone I knew real well, it was someone that I had spent hours working side-by-side with while we were interns one summer (not to mention being classmates for four years).  While I don’t know all of the details, the main detail is the one that concerns me the most.  Death.

I don’t care who you  are or what your relationship is to the person, if you have any sense at all that is going to get the wheels turning upstairs and you’ll begin to ponder “what if today is my last?” and all of the questions that follow that.  And frankly, I don’t want to have to answer that one right now…I’ve got a good forty plus years ahead of me, right?  As proven by this latest tragic event, that answer is clear.  No, not necessarily.

Anyway, I’ve not formulated many organized thoughts beyond that just yet.  But rest assured, God has my attention and I intend to savor every bit of this life he has blessed me with.