Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You’re telling me that there’s no hope.
I’m telling you you’re wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
“Oh, the impossibilities”
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I’m searching for the confidence I’ve lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

[Chorus]

I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think You can, I think You can
I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think You can, I think You can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands

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Anyway, what tripped it tonight was two things.   Andrew Peterson & the violent death of a former high school classmate.

Every time I see or listen to AP I quickly regain my focus on what really matters in the grand scheme of things.    God, family, friends and then everything else (including my businesses and anything else that I might have my hands in at any given moment).  That’s a good thing except for the fact that I’m always eagerly (and impatiently) looking forward to the next chapter and potentially miss out on some memorable moments of the current one.

Then the violent death of someone I once knew just compounds that by making me see my own mortality through the example of their life.  Even though this wasn’t someone I knew real well, it was someone that I had spent hours working side-by-side with while we were interns one summer (not to mention being classmates for four years).  While I don’t know all of the details, the main detail is the one that concerns me the most.  Death.

I don’t care who you  are or what your relationship is to the person, if you have any sense at all that is going to get the wheels turning upstairs and you’ll begin to ponder “what if today is my last?” and all of the questions that follow that.  And frankly, I don’t want to have to answer that one right now…I’ve got a good forty plus years ahead of me, right?  As proven by this latest tragic event, that answer is clear.  No, not necessarily.

Anyway, I’ve not formulated many organized thoughts beyond that just yet.  But rest assured, God has my attention and I intend to savor every bit of this life he has blessed me with.

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While I know that I have already accomplished a lot, there is just something “there” that drives me further each day in the pursuit of whatever the bigger picture may be for my life. It’s a little hard to put that “fire” into words, but for anyone who has been following Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy’s football career, it’s sort of like that. (This is what I do…for now. If I can’t continue to do it well, I’d rather step aside and let someone else have a shot. This isn’t what I want to do forever, but as long as it is where God wants me to be, I’ll continue. And at the end of the day the two most important things to me are my God and my family.)

Now that I’ve set a somber tone for the day, throw open the curtains, bask in the sunlight, then at some point head outside into the brisk January air, close your eyes, arms wide open, head towards the sky, take a deep breath and just thank God for the opportunity to live and breath yet another day. You never know how many more you might have, so treat each day as it is your last and as the gift that it is.

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