I realize that there are a lot of people I’ve not been in touch with for a while and that I don’t get very personal on my blog these days (on purpose), so here’s the 60 second rundown of 2008 thus far (if you read fast):

• I turned 30 this year.  I’m losing more hair and going gray at the same time.
• In April 2008 my wife and I lost a child (stillborn).
  • Yes, that sucks…you’re expecting a child and instead you end up planing a funeral and trying to explain things to the little ones that you already have.
  • Are we “OK”?  Yes and no.  No, if by OK you mean back to “normal”.  Normal has been redefined.  (While not always as drastic, I’d say that normal is constantly being redefined anyway.)  Yes, if by OK you mean are we pressing on.
  • Related to OK, yes, we’re coping and no, we’re not “over it” (I doubt that will ever happen as long as we have a “sound” mind).  I’d say that this is the first time that the concept of “grieving” has “clicked”…don’t get me wrong, I’ve been very sad at the loss of my loved ones in the past, but I have never felt the deep down emotions that have went along with this.  It’s another one of those life experiences that you can’t understand until you have been there yourself.
  • No, there’s not really anything that you can say to us that would really lend comfort.  BUT, just being “there” and not acting like we have some sort of disease or “elephant” is appreciated.  (Seriously, some people avoid you and others give you a look that gives you an idea of what they’re thinking but wanting to avoid.)
  • Yes, we’re willing to talk about it (to some extent anyway), but it probably won’t be something we bring up in normal conversation.  Yes, it may upset us at times, but please know that it’s not you.
  • Please don’t be alarmed when you hear us talk about it or have reminders around the house.
• We went to The Smokies in May and then surprised the kids with a trip to Disney World for close to a two week vacation.
• The kids are getting big…and very funny.
• We’ve became “members” of family things…The Indianapolis Zoo, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis and Eagle Creek Park.
• Business is doing great.  I have to thank everyone for their support over the past two years.  Some of you may have been thinking I was nuts, but at least you kept that to yourself or to where I couldn’t hear (not that I would have listened anyway since that has been my goal for as long as I can remember).

It’s now been three months since we lost our son.  I’m still processing everything and probably will be for some time. To say that it hurts is an understatement.  And what’s worse is that its not a hurt that has a “fix” that you can truly grasp…there is no “you’ll be back to normal in six weeks” healing process.  From what I’ve heard from others, it’s a long drawn out road that you go down that does get better over time but is always there to some extent.  My hope is that someday I can walk around without an emotional limp and use this experience for something positive.

Pulling and Jekyll and Hyde, the work side of life is doing great.  Business is booming, which is truly a blessing.  But there are times that my personal life makes it difficult to concentrate.  Life (and work) goes on with or without you, that is clear.  Luckily I have excellent help and understanding clients.

So that brings me to another milestone which is exciting.  July 1st marked the second anniversary of me being technically “unemployed” (for whatever reason self-employed equals unemployed…something to do with taxes which I’ll leave to my accountant).  To say that I’m happy to be able to say that I’ve “made it” would also be an understatement…I’m ecstatic.  So that is why I’m a bit emotionally conflicted at the moment.

While cleaning out the garage the other day I ran across my list of life goals from high school and the major items on the list has been checked off…graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have children and run my own business.  The only items left are to learn to water ski and grow old.  I’m working on the later.  We’ll see about the water skiing (snow skiing was a bad idea).  So I think it’s about time to create a new list of goals for the remainder of my life.  That’ll be good to think about what the future may hold.

To say this past December was busy would be an understatement. It is now mid-January and I’m finally getting back into some sort of rhythm and will hopefully get back to blogging regularly soon. In the meantime, here’s the hit list of what I’ve been up (in no particular order) to and have wanted to blog about in more detail (which isn’t going to happen, so we better move forward)…
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As a parent you become used to many things that anyone that isn’t a parent would find disgusting (at least in regards to your own kids). Slobber, vomit, wet diapers, “dirty” diapers…you get the picture.

While there have been a few times the vomit and “dirties” have grabbed a hold of my stomach a bit, there is one thing that these do not, and cannot, hold a candle to. That would be spoiled milk.

While it isn’t too uncommon for my children to leave their cups somewhere that I can’t find them for a little while, say a day at most, I recently ran across a cup full of milk that had been missing for well over a month. I had assumed we’d just left the cup somewhere since there were two missing and neither had shown up.

Not thinking much of it, especially since the cup was apparently designed to not allow any smells out, I decided to open it up to wash the cup. Words cannot describe the involuntary urge to spew that the wretched stench brought about. This ranks right up there with the smell of a paper mill (if you’ve had that lovely experience) and rotting meat. It is horrid.

So as a word of advice, if you’re ever in this situation, resit the urge to “save” the cup…throw it away and buy a new one. I know that if the still M.I.A. cup ever shows up, it is going directly into the trash can.  Please learn from my misadventure.  Trust me, you’ll thank me for it.

Apparently my oldest son really likes Marshmallow Peeps heads…

…either that, or they looked at him funny.