It has been months in the making* but I have finally finished up the initial “branding” of my photo blog, One Man’s Lens.  I won’t begin to promise any sort of update frequency except to say that it shouldn’t be months between posts.  I have tens of thousands of pictures that I’ve taken over the past five years or so and I’ll post some of the more interesting ones as I get a chance.  In the meantime I’ve posted a few pictures for the launch, so feel free to pop in and take a look at those.  And if there’s a particular subject that interests you, let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

* Well, sort of…My camera was in the shop for a few months and I just didn’t have/make the time to setup the site on the new domain until now.

We went to Fazoli’s for dinner last week and apparently it had been a while since we last went there.  There were signs up that said something like “your bread sticks are back” (isn’t that like McDonald’s saying that Cheeseburgers are back?), but now there was no bread stick person walking around giving you heaps of bread sticks every few minutes and you had to go to the counter to get them.

But the strangest thing that I saw was related to the menu.  They now offer combos that come with a salad or a slice of pizza.  A decent sized salad or a normal slice of pizza.  Pizza just doesn’t seem like a good option to go along with my Fettucini Alfredo and stack of bread sticks for more than one reason so I opted for the salad.  Maybe we’re a test market (which we often are), in which case I doubt that will be an option the next time I go there.  But that struck me as odd and I made a note to myself to blog about that and see what everyone else thought.

I realize that there are a lot of people I’ve not been in touch with for a while and that I don’t get very personal on my blog these days (on purpose), so here’s the 60 second rundown of 2008 thus far (if you read fast):

• I turned 30 this year.  I’m losing more hair and going gray at the same time.
• In April 2008 my wife and I lost a child (stillborn).
  • Yes, that sucks…you’re expecting a child and instead you end up planing a funeral and trying to explain things to the little ones that you already have.
  • Are we “OK”?  Yes and no.  No, if by OK you mean back to “normal”.  Normal has been redefined.  (While not always as drastic, I’d say that normal is constantly being redefined anyway.)  Yes, if by OK you mean are we pressing on.
  • Related to OK, yes, we’re coping and no, we’re not “over it” (I doubt that will ever happen as long as we have a “sound” mind).  I’d say that this is the first time that the concept of “grieving” has “clicked”…don’t get me wrong, I’ve been very sad at the loss of my loved ones in the past, but I have never felt the deep down emotions that have went along with this.  It’s another one of those life experiences that you can’t understand until you have been there yourself.
  • No, there’s not really anything that you can say to us that would really lend comfort.  BUT, just being “there” and not acting like we have some sort of disease or “elephant” is appreciated.  (Seriously, some people avoid you and others give you a look that gives you an idea of what they’re thinking but wanting to avoid.)
  • Yes, we’re willing to talk about it (to some extent anyway), but it probably won’t be something we bring up in normal conversation.  Yes, it may upset us at times, but please know that it’s not you.
  • Please don’t be alarmed when you hear us talk about it or have reminders around the house.
• We went to The Smokies in May and then surprised the kids with a trip to Disney World for close to a two week vacation.
• The kids are getting big…and very funny.
• We’ve became “members” of family things…The Indianapolis Zoo, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis and Eagle Creek Park.
• Business is doing great.  I have to thank everyone for their support over the past two years.  Some of you may have been thinking I was nuts, but at least you kept that to yourself or to where I couldn’t hear (not that I would have listened anyway since that has been my goal for as long as I can remember).

It’s now been three months since we lost our son.  I’m still processing everything and probably will be for some time. To say that it hurts is an understatement.  And what’s worse is that its not a hurt that has a “fix” that you can truly grasp…there is no “you’ll be back to normal in six weeks” healing process.  From what I’ve heard from others, it’s a long drawn out road that you go down that does get better over time but is always there to some extent.  My hope is that someday I can walk around without an emotional limp and use this experience for something positive.

Pulling and Jekyll and Hyde, the work side of life is doing great.  Business is booming, which is truly a blessing.  But there are times that my personal life makes it difficult to concentrate.  Life (and work) goes on with or without you, that is clear.  Luckily I have excellent help and understanding clients.

So that brings me to another milestone which is exciting.  July 1st marked the second anniversary of me being technically “unemployed” (for whatever reason self-employed equals unemployed…something to do with taxes which I’ll leave to my accountant).  To say that I’m happy to be able to say that I’ve “made it” would also be an understatement…I’m ecstatic.  So that is why I’m a bit emotionally conflicted at the moment.

While cleaning out the garage the other day I ran across my list of life goals from high school and the major items on the list has been checked off…graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have children and run my own business.  The only items left are to learn to water ski and grow old.  I’m working on the later.  We’ll see about the water skiing (snow skiing was a bad idea).  So I think it’s about time to create a new list of goals for the remainder of my life.  That’ll be good to think about what the future may hold.

Man, this is truly sad (and yes, I’m being serious)…due to tradition, if I were Chinese, I couldn’t enjoy firecrackers…

(CNN) — The sharp sound of firecrackers and the wails of grieving parents echoed Tuesday morning aboveJuyuan Middle School, where hundreds of students are still trapped 24 hours after a major earthquake in central China.

The firecrackers, a tradition to ward off evil spirits, sounded each time a child’s body was found, a reporter at the scene said.

“We heard firecrackers at regular intervals of about 5, 10 minutes,” said Jamil Anderlini, a reporter for the Financial Times.

Don’t get me wrong. This earthquake is tragic. The lives lost are tragic. Every culture has their own traditions and that is cool. But from the mindset of an American who has recently lost a child, I swear, if firecrackers were a reminder of my child’s death, I’d probably never light another one again and I’d probably be tempted to leave the States for the summer and never go to a good amusement or theme park again in order to avoid the large displays that seem to be everywhere during the summer.

It’s not a matter of wanting to forget. You can’t. But that constant summertime reminder in America would be quite a weight to bear, so I’m thankful that’s not the case. Watching pregnant women and those with newborns walk by is hard enough at times.