Emotionally Conflicted
It’s now been three months since we lost our son. I’m still processing everything and probably will be for some time. To say that it hurts is an understatement. And what’s worse is that its not a hurt that has a “fix” that you can truly grasp…there is no “you’ll be back to normal in six weeks” healing process. From what I’ve heard from others, it’s a long drawn out road that you go down that does get better over time but is always there to some extent. My hope is that someday I can walk around without an emotional limp and use this experience for something positive.
Pulling and Jekyll and Hyde, the work side of life is doing great. Business is booming, which is truly a blessing. But there are times that my personal life makes it difficult to concentrate. Life (and work) goes on with or without you, that is clear. Luckily I have excellent help and understanding clients.
So that brings me to another milestone which is exciting. July 1st marked the second anniversary of me being technically “unemployed” (for whatever reason self-employed equals unemployed…something to do with taxes which I’ll leave to my accountant). To say that I’m happy to be able to say that I’ve “made it” would also be an understatement…I’m ecstatic. So that is why I’m a bit emotionally conflicted at the moment.
While cleaning out the garage the other day I ran across my list of life goals from high school and the major items on the list has been checked off…graduate high school, graduate college, get married, have children and run my own business. The only items left are to learn to water ski and grow old. I’m working on the later. We’ll see about the water skiing (snow skiing was a bad idea). So I think it’s about time to create a new list of goals for the remainder of my life. That’ll be good to think about what the future may hold.
